Tala's Arrival! December 3-4, 2013

So after night of ramen and karaoke I was rudely awakened at 4:30am with contractions. Nothing too intense but enough to annoy me that I couldn't sleep in until 9am like I had planned. They lasted until right before I went in for my routine appointment at Kaiser at 11am later that morning. My doctor was encouraged that things were progressing but baby's arrival was still TBD. I spent the rest of the day doing absolutely nothing productive.

Then around 10pm-they return. Not horrible but around 7-10 minutes apart, lasting anywhere from 30-45 seconds. I text GK who was at work to give him an update and proceed to labor at home by myself for the next 4 hours. Initially I had these grandiose ideas of cleaning the house when I first went into labor along with making a casserole to freeze, showering, shaving my legs, straightening my hair, changing the sheets on the bed, and having an ice cold Peroni. Of course none of this happened. I instead rolled round in bed moaning and walked up and down the stairs until GK came home. After he arrived it would be game on for the next 36 hours.

I knew that during my pregnancy that massage and direct pressure would help me deal with the contractions. GK and I had taken the Bradley Method class in preparation for a natural childbirth and massage was one of the recommended relaxation techniques that we actually practiced. GK would put direct pressure on my lower back throughout the contractions which proved to be exhausting as neither of us slept that night. With the shades drawn and our spotify playlist going ( a combo of yacht rock & spa sounds, think waterfalls/birds/chimes), GK coached me through the contractions for the rest of the day. Time ceased to exist. What also ceased to exist was my access to an app to time my contractions (forgot my password) and an ability to keep food/water down. 

I spent about 2 hours laboring on the floor while (incorrectly) keeping track of my contractions on my iPhone.

For reasons unknown, every few hours I would violently vomit. Eventually I stopped even trying to eat because I knew what the end result would be. By 4pm we decided to call Kaiser Labor & Delivery and they advised us to come in due to the risk of dehydration. We thought about it, called our Bradley Method teacher, and decided to try to stay home longer. My goal had been to labor at home for as long as possible and not go into the hospital until I was in the transition stage. I ate some rice but after I threw up yet again, we decided to head to Kaiser in Walnut Creek out of concern that the baby could be affected by dehydration.

Elsie was incredibly patient during the labor. GK came downstairs to find her in the kitchen s pictured above waiting for a much deserved treat.

After going through triage I was admitted to the hospital (dilated 5 cm) and given fluids. Unfortunately the fluids and anti-nausea medication did not correct this issue and it continued until the birth. Luckily I was able to disconnect the IV line and take a shower and walk around a bit. After about 12 hours I was still at 5cm and Pitocin was recommended. Now if you've seen The Business of Being Born you probably know that Pitocin is one of the most overused drugs in Labor & Delivery. However, I had been at 5cm for only 12 confirmed hours, possibly even longer since I had spent the first 24 hours of my labor at home. GK supported starting Pitocin as the thought of 35 more hours of labor was enough to put him over the edge. Eventually I agreed and I was given the lowest dosage and then waited to see what would happen.

Shortly after being admitted.

GK had been awake going on 36 hours with me. Initially I did not give him enough credit for this since I was also awake but being awake due to pain and being awake on your own accord are two totally different things. Of course my situation was much harder. After being admitted to the hospital GK attempted to take some short naps throughout the night only to be awakened by me demanding that he put direct pressure on my back. By 7am he told me that we needed to call my mom because he wasn't sure how much longer he could take. I reminded him of our plan to call in my dear friend Rachel for support and texted her. She agreed to pick up a latte for GK and head on over. The timing was perfect-when I texted her she was up getting ready for work and was able to skip an office holiday party she had no interest in attending. Seeing Rachel re-energized both of us and gave GK some rest for the remainder of my labor as they traded off applying direct pressure to my back.

My biggest fear about having Pitocin was that my contractions would become almost immediately unbearable. Luckily this did not happen and the process was gradual but quick. I don't even recall actually entering the transition stage. I knew that the contractions were getting closer together and more intense but I never felt like they were overlapping. The biggest difference I felt was the incredible urgency to push. I told the nurse about this and she checked me, told me that I was dilated to 7cm, that clearly the Pitocin was working, try not to push, and we'd have a baby here within the next few hours. I still could not get over the incredible urgency not to push but at the height of each contractions I was unintentionally slightly pushing. Shortly after the nurse left the room I felt an incredible shift deep inside and announced this to GK & Rachel. Rachel called the nurse back in who checked me and announced that I was already at 10cm, she felt the head and I was ready to have a baby.

I immediately found my 2nd wind-previously I had felt like I was just surviving the contractions since I had no idea how long they would last. When it comes to second stage labor there's the clear goal of pushing the baby out, something I had more control over. When I first started to push, the bag of waters  started to come out as it had yet to break. For a few minutes there was the chance that the baby was going to born inside but the nurse accidentally poked it, causing it to deflate a few minutes later. I started pushing during the contractions and my room began to fill with medical staff. I requested to use the squatting bar as this position opens your pelvic area by 10% more than other positions. It must have been gravity but as I pushed in this position, fluid gushed out along with merconium which necessitated to the NICU for a nurse/doctor to respond. The midwife had me change positions as squatting wasn't really working for her. I ended up in a semi-sitting position with my feet up on stirrups close to my body with handles to push against.

The nurse had placed a mirror so I could view the delivery but in order to see I had to have my glasses on. I watched as the head began to emerge but was immediately disappointed to see it retract back inside. I know that this in and out business with the head could go on for hours and I was having none of that. I took off my glasses, handed them to GK, leaned back, and told myself that baby would be coming out within the next 5 contractions. The midwife really seemed to get me-she coached me through the next 4 contractions, urging me to push 3 or 4 times. During the 4th contraction she just kept telling me to push even though the contraction was over. I heard her announce that the head was out and next would be the shoulder. I looked to my right and saw a tiny little head covered with dark hear, wide eyes, a bit of a squeak, and arms open to greet the world. Tala Benilda Calub Mencher had made her arrival. She was loosely wrapped in a receiving blanket and placed on my abdomen. I kept exclaiming-she's so cute! I truly thought she was the cutest baby I had ever seen whereas GK was alarmed by how swollen she was and initially thought she looked a little deformed. And just like that all the pain stopped. I had the most amazing energy that would last through the next day and immediately drank 5 little boxes of apple juice.

Despite no sleep for the past 2 days, GK skips a nap and witnesses Tala's birth.

Tala after getting all cleaned up. The nurse ran and got a special little hat she had taken from the stash that the volunteers knit for the new babies. She had saved it and presented it to Tala.

Tala's first selfie on Instagram. #eatyourheartoutangelina

Staff left us alone to spend as much time as we wanted with her. Rachel stayed for about 20 more minutes and then left GK and I alone. Eventually we were ready to call the nurse back in so that Tala could get cleaned up, weighed, and complete all the routine procedures. Tala was a whopping 6 pounds, 5 ounces and measured 20 inches. I was moved to the Post-Partum ward to recover. We only spent one night in the hospital. While the medical team was amazingly supportive, for some reason I was eager to get home and was discharged the following afternoon.

Our celebratory lunch in Post-Partum. I skipped the meal but swiped the It's a Girl! champagne flutes.

It's official! Note-my midwife's first name is my middle name.

Our first trip home to Berkeley! Our first night home would prove to be the hardest. We were both incredibly exhausted and Tala did not like clothing, diapers, her bassinet, or not being held. However, in a few days I think she decided that she liked us and that diapers are a necessity.